When we think about boundaries, we visualize an energy field or an imaginary line separating us from someone else. Boundaries basically help each person know where one thing ends and where another begins. Like Melody Beattie states in her book Beyond Codependency: “Unlike states on maps, we don’t have thick black lines delineating our borders. Yet, each of us has our own territory. Our boundaries define and contain that territory, our bodies, minds, emotions, spirit, possessions, and rights.” They create a separateness that allows you to have your own feelings, make your own decisions from an empowering space, and bravely ask for what you want without feeling the need to please others.

When there are no boundaries, people can take advantage because limits have not been set about how you expect to be treated. When this happens, the relationship with that person starts to feel unsafe and many hurtful events can unfold. These situations can happen in all kinds of relationships- with a lover, a family member, a coworker, even your kids.